But, that's not what I'm posting about.
I WAS going to be on time to work today, when I noticed one of the goldfish I inherited from Tess wasn't looking so hot. There's a hollow rock ornament with various oddly-sized holes, and Comet was looking out of one of these holes, twitching occasionally and breathing. But he wasn't swimming anywhere...
Concerned, I reached in and gave him a poke. Then I realized that he was stuck.
The fucking goldfish got STUCK in an aquarium ornament. He couldn't swim out because the hole he'd stuck his head through was too small.
I picked up the ornament and he was STILL stuck! He was genuinely and truly wedged in there, like one of those stick-through-the-ring hair diddlybobs. I carefully poked his nose to try to back him out, gently pulled his tail, and eventually figured the safest thing was just to push his head back through the hole. Carefully.
Once his nose was clear of the ornament wall, he swam out through the wide open bottom of the ornament. God knows how long he'd been stuck there. He looked tired enough...
I swear to $deity... I know the fish are not smart. It's part of their charm. They are GOLDFISH, theoretically unable to remember anything past three minutes (they certainly know where food comes from tho). But that was a particularly spectacular feat of stupid.
I arrived at work my customary 15 minutes late, which fortunately is not a problem, because as long as you work the full 8 hours no one really cares when you get there. :)