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Mopey

Dazed & confused

Note to self: if this sucking, pulling feeling is still here in two weeks? Change meds. Kthx.

I hate not knowing if what I'm going through is a normal, acceptable reaction pattern to various events and factors, or if it's cause for re-examining my management of a mood disorder. Really hate it. I love scorning normality, but that kind of entails that I know what it IS. If I have no rule of measurement? Well, I just don't know which way to swing, dammit.

The ruler I am settling on for now is time. They say you are depressed if the feelings persist for a certain period of time... well, we will just see how I feel in a couple weeks.

Leaving this open/public for the benefit of people who do not have LJ and who are trying to catch up with me... or... whatever. Something.

Stopping here, because everything else I try to write = total waaahmbulance. You know, in comparison to what I've already written. Whooo.

Comments

Unbiased...

...since you and I are not close enough to know what mood disorder you actually have. However, given a depressed state that I have once had for a month or so on end, it could be all the stress.

If you are stressed from work/living situation than it is important you destress or take some time out so that you can be happier. If this is ont the case, than it is possible you may need to do a bit more soul searching.

Just stay true, Mana. We all get overwhelmed. You will be okay. Hopefully Otana is still around to perk you up.
*gently hugs...* :
There's been a lot of upheaval lately. Things might be working out, but it takes effort, and I'm not surprised you may be struggling.

Still, I am tempted to blame this crash on what happened over the weekend. I had my own trigger almost a day before that, it just didn't help. But we'll get through it, whether it's an emotional reaction to events or some kind of cycle.

*hugs*
I think you and Otana have exchanged places and you're having her post-immigration blues.
Well sweetie I can't really say what all is going on in your life, but concidering everything, I would say much of this is Chemeical... you ahve a wonderful set of lovers with you, and for that you should feel Blesed (but Im not going to tell you how to feel becuase that would be rude).

I think both of our lives are going fairly well, its just the deperssion refuses to really let go, specialy when it's been threatend by good things.. that's just how I think it works, it tries to find reasons to exist, or more to the point, it's feelings that are simply mechanical, and we try to find some form of justification for them, even when there isn't anything for them.

Hold them, love them for all life is worth, even if it seems against reason.