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Sarah

Seeking out ritual

Yes, well, I'm a little late for Rosh Hashana. (Another thing to repent for.) Pretend this was written Thursday.

If you don't know, Rosh Hashana is a time when we apologize and make amends, if possible, to anyone we have hurt via word, deed or omission.

Who have I hurt.

I have hurt others. I have hurt myself. For the most part I think I have done this through omission - by not doing things, rather than doing things that hurt. But, there's probably a little bit of that in there too.

I have not been a good friend to many. I have not been there for people I care about, when I ought to have been. I have not been a good daughter. I have not been a good sister. I have been a neglectful gardener and animal caretaker. I have been a lazy employee. I have ignored my own needs, allowed myself to lay fallow, and in so doing both shortchanged myself and harmed others, because I was unable to do what I should have been able to do for them.

This is not ALL I have been. This isn't a pity rant. But I have been these things, through the past year and through my life (but the past year is enough to atone for on one holiday). There are what I feel are good reasons for many of these things. This does not erase them.

My friends, I'm sorry I have not been there for you during times of need.

My family, I'm sorry for not keeping in touch.

</a></b></a>sardonicus, I'm sorry for making your life more difficult than it had to be (even a little tiny bit).

</a></b></a>otana </a></b></a>otana, I'm sorry for everything I've ever promised which I did not fulfill (even the little tiny things).

</a></b></a>chythar, I'm sorry for making things hurt more than they had to.

</a></b></a>jade_darkness, I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted me to be.

I would like to say I'll never do any of these things ever ever again. But I know better. I can't snap my fingers and make my faults go away. However I will try, at least, not to make the same mistakes.

No, this year, they'll be brand spanking new mistakes. ;) As much as possible, at any rate.

EDIT: Ack! Forgot to apologize to myself.

Myself... I'm sorry for not taking better care of you, for belittling you and not trusting you.

And stuff along those lines.



Icons by Quoll

Comments

*snugs*

Of course I wouldn't hold that against you, love. Mistakes are made to be learned from, and I make enough of my own.

And why am I a gray tabby?! *huffs*

No appreciation for snow kitties ...

Actually, I'da gone for this one (</a></b></a>otana), I think. Still not the same though. *pout*
Changed!!!

:3

And no, I didn't think that you would hold anything against me. That's not what it's about, though I suspect you already knew this. I think the simple benchmark of looking at your mistakes, acknowledging them, and attempting to make amends (and/or resolving to do better) produces a lovely sense of closure. And having set times marked for introspective activities is good, too.

STUFF!

Teshuvah

If, during the past year, I have said or done anything, or failed to do or say anything, which has offended or harmed you, I am truly sorry.

Now the seasons turn, the slate is wiped clean for a new year, we embrace one another in forgiveness and love.

May you be inscribed in the Book of Life, and may the coming year be filled with happiness, joy, and peace.

here is a little New Year's gift: silly kitties:

http://www.christymarx.com/moggy/olympics.htm

Re: Teshuvah

WAI thanks for the phraseology! I looked online but didn't find any wording, so I got as close as I could and branched out from there.

I really love how most of these ritual sayings accomodate an inclination to reference no specific deity.

<3 the cats!!
This is a very good ritual, and I am ashamed that I never knew much about Jewish holidays.
I don't know as much as I should, actually. My family celebrated a chosen few holidays, and I don't know much beyond those sometimes-vague memories. This appears to be changing. ^_^

an old saying...

that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I have found it useful to listen to my inner guide, what speaks to me, and follow in that direction. When I search with an open heart and mind, the most amazing things come into my life, including my Jewish heritage.

The Days of Awe (High Holidays) are a relatively recent addition to my appreciation of the rhythms of the Jewish year. I think I wasn't ready for the power of introspection and reconciliation.

Mana, it takes a lot of courage to look at yourself honestly and with compassion, but that is what makes you a better "you" And, like ripples in a still pond, the world becomes a better place. "Tikkun olam" means "repairing the world." As we repair ourselves and our relationships, we create harmony out of discord, order out of chaos.